New name, same stuff

First of all, once again I am on my phone! It is just too much trouble to go back and correct any grammatical errors! I cannot even believe I just said that! Grammatical errors are my biggest pet peeve! I cannot simply go to the library or someones house to use their computer either. My creativity does not work that way. If I don't finish it in the same sitting as I started, I lose interest. I cannot tell you how many first chapters of novels I have written. I am saving that for when the kids are grown and no one will be harmed if I type for several days straight. Also, I dont know if you can see paragraphs or not. I am separating my thoughts into paragraphs but it is all squashed together after I publish! Almost too much for me to take. Anyhoo: Tonight I just feel led to share a little of my story. I realize that my posts may tend to be redundant, but as long as the enemy is spreading lies, I will continue to spread the truth. I appreciate everyone who reads them anyway! I was a Christian for a very long time before I fully grasped the reality of what that means. I believed that Jesus died and rose from the dead and that He was God's Son. I believed all the Bible stories. I prayed almost every day, mainly for myself and my problems. I read my Bible, mainly when I was having trouble and needed advice. I thought I had all I needed. There were, however, a few issues in the Bible that I didn't agree with. In my mind, I thought that since this book had been written so long ago, that maybe some of God's opinions had changed. I didn't go to church for a period of about 10 years. I didn't really think I needed to. I felt weird about going with a bunch of people I didn't know. My shyness was the main reason for that. When I look back now, I can see that I was just barely getting by and sometimes I also wonder if I was really saved then. I can remember having doubts at times. So, what changed? Why am I different today? Change began when I began a real study of His Word. The more I learned, the more clearly I could see. It was like a veil was lifted from my eyes. I began to pray like never before. I pray all the time now. When something good happens, I give Him praise. When something bad happens to anyone, I lift them up. I have a heart for hurting people like never before. I started wanting to go to church every chance I could. I got over my shyness through 2 Timothy 1:7. "God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." If timidness does not come from God, it can only come from the devil. I could not be writing this right now, if not for that verse. Not only that, I know now that believers NEED the church. There are many many times when the only encouragement I get all week is through the church. You certainly won't get encouragement from this world! I no longer want to do the things I used to. I don't care for partying anymore. I'd rather be home with my husband and kids. I want to be a better wife and mother. I am confident that staying at home is right for my family. Before, I always felt like I wasn't doing anything of value. Now, I know that there is nothing more valuable. I used to dream of a big house and lots of money. Now, I am content with the home that God has provided for us, in a way that only He could. My prayer is that my boys will grow up to be men of God and full of courage. We need lots more of those! Most importantly, I know that His Word is just as valid today as it was 2,000 years ago. I still go to it for advice but I also go to it for wisdom. For, I have found that "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness." I also know now that I am saved, no doubt about it. There are days when those old feelings and doubts creep in. I still mess up. I get off track and drift away. But I can now recognize that it is my fault when that happens. God didn't move away from me. I moved away from Him. He isn't going anywhere.

How do I know?

Every time I do it, I swear I'm never going to do it again. It always leaves me feeling angry and sad and disgusted! So then, why do I keep reading the comments after news stories on the internet? I think I am finally done with it for good. What is it that irritates me so? First of all it's the "Christians" who spew their judgements at the first opportunity. Not our job, folks, and that's pretty much why other people dislike us so. Is it wrong that I am judgemental of judgemental people? Probably so... Secondly, it's the jokesters who poke fun at even the most tragic incidences. I'm all for a good laugh but sometimes compassion is classier. But the absolute worst is the hateful atheist person. Not just the ones who don't believe in God but the ones who condemn those of us who do. It makes me wonder what happened to this person? Was there a horrific tragedy? Did he have a run-in with one of my judgemental friends? And why so much anger? How can you have so much hate for something you don't believe is real? How can one go into the world and look at all the marvelous creations and think that it was all just chance? I'm not saying that science is all a bunch of nonsense. My personal belief is that God said "Let there be light!" and there was a big bang and then there was light. God did not go into specifics about how He created everything. Of course, this guy would probably say I'm brainwashed. Thankfully I was taught about God and the Bible from a young age. But I'm an adult now and while I'm no astro-physicist, I am capable of putting two thoughts together and forming an opinion and I've concluded that yes, there is a God! How do I really know for certain that God is real? I know because He has proven Himself to me every single day. I have been taken care of in so many ways that I know it cannot be coincidence or "karma". My life has been full of ups and downs. Sometimes I did not understand, but looking back I see that it was all pary of a carefully constructed plan, divine happenings that led me to where I am today. When I call out to Him, He answers me. No, I don't hear it with my ears, I hear it with my heart. It's not something that can be explained but it is truth. I am not imagining it and I am not delusional. I get so angry when I hear anyone speaking hatred or contempt against my God! Then, I get sad because I know they they don't know my God. To know Him is to love Him. I am thankful that through Bible study and prayer, I have gotten to know Him. I have complete trust in His character, even when I don't understand His plan. The proof is in my heart. So, when I hear this talk, I stop and pray. "Father I am so sorry. It it hurts me to hear these things but I know that it hurts you more even more. Please allow this person feel Your presence. Open their heart to Your truth." And then I feel His peace come over me. And to me that is one more piece of evidence that He is here. It also helps me to have a little word from the Word on these matters: "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels and the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance, leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." 2 Timothy 2:23-26.

All of us

First of all, let me add a little disclaimer... We don't have home internet right now. I am blogging from my phone and it is a challenge. Please forgive any errors in spelling or grammar. I can barely see what I'm typing and this site does not agree with my phone. Ha! My heart has been so burdened lately by the division between people. From politics to family to friends to co-workers and so on and so on. Judgement, anger and resentment are poisons. Nothing good can come from them. So why are we so quick to go there? What's the point? We are all sinners. Just because someone sins different from you, doesn't mean their sin is any worse than yours. We are all going to have different opinions. That doesn't make mine more important than yours. We all struggle. Someone's life may look perfect from the outside but you don't know what they are struggling with on the inside. I do have a selfish reason for pos,ting this blog. I'm tired of being misunderstood. My only enemy is the devil. I truly care and have concern for everyone in my life. If I don't always show it, it's because I am wore out! Raising three wild little boys is no easy task. Especially when I am on my own most of the time. Some days I am really struggling. SO, if I offend you in any way, please cut me some slack. I promise it was not intentional. Now that I've said all this, I have to take my own advice. I am the worst about getting my feelings hurt too easily. I don't like turmoil and controversy. I want everyone to get along and like each other. How I wish it could be that way! Since it can't, let's all try to love each other. When someone hurts or disappoints you, pray for them. You really may not have a clue of what they're going through. T___alk to them. Be understanding. Don't lash out the first chance you get. We all have bad days. Let's cut each other some slack. After all "Love each other as I have loved you" is the greatest commandment. Thank you, Lord for the people you place in my life. Thank you for the ones that encourage me and the ones who challenge me. I know we must all face challenges. T.at is part of living in this world. But Lord, I pray that as a Christian, I will always look to you for guidance when I'm challenged and that I will always be willing to forgive others as you always forgive me. I love you! In Jesus's name, I pray. Amen.

Itching Ears?

Hello, blog! It's been awhile. So long that I forgot my password and almost wasn't able to log in....

Today's blog has been stewing around in my mind for a few weeks now. I didn't post it earlier, because I really didn't want to. I was kinda hoping something else would come along, but alas, this same message kept coming to me again and again. I really don't want to stop blogging altogether, so I decided to finally sit down and get this one out there and clear my thoughts.

First of all, I have to say that I just realized that I don't envy preachers one bit! I find it very difficult to even write this little blog, without feeling like a hypocrite. As I have said before, I feel so unworthy to write these words, when I know that I am so guilty of not always following the Word, myself. Isn't that the whole point of being a Christian? Following the Word? So, why is it that so many times we will ignore certain parts of the Word? We choose the parts we like and preach about those, and decide that we must have evolved past the parts that we disagree with.

So, what does the Word say about that? "ALL SCRIPTURE is GOD-BREATHED and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness...." -2 Timothy 3:16. It doesn't say "some scripture" or "the scripture that you agree with". It says "ALL SCRIPTURE."

Why then, are so many Christians turning away from the truth? Choosing their opinions over God's Word? The Bible has something to say about that too: "For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."-2 Timothy 4:3-4.

The truth is that it is sometimes hard to understand God's ways. He tells us that it will be. "My ways are not your ways." It is during those times, that we have to suppress our pride and lean on our faith. No matter how evolved or smart we think we are, we will NEVER be smarter or wiser than the Creator of this magnificent universe. He is the Boss! He made us, so He gets to tell us what to do. It's that simple.

All of this being said, we must also remember not to go around pointing fingers! I've got enough on my hands, just trying to keep myself straight. I'm not about to go around knocking people in the head with my Bible and throwing stones at them. 2 Timothy 2:24 also says, "And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." Just keep an open heart towards people, so that when they do need your help, you will be able to help them.

I know it is hard to be a good Christian in this world! I struggle with it every day. I am so thankful for my Christian friends and family that give me encouragement. And most importantly, I am thankful for the Word of God! For any trouble that I've have ever had, I have always been able to find comfort, advice and peace in the Word. How could I ever doubt It's magnificence?

Gettin' Ugly!

Do you ever want to just get ugly with someone? Sometimes people are rude, unthoughtful or just down right mean. Sometimes we deserve the way they treat us, but sometimes we don't. It can be a struggle for me to deal with difficult people, 'cause there is a part of me that REALLY wants to get ugly with them!

The thing is, I am serious about my commitment to Christ and I know that gettin' ugly isn't really an option. Jesus doesn't like ugly! 1 Peter 3:9 says, "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."

Okay, so I won't get ugly. But, what if my feelings are still hurt! What if I really did not deserve the way I was treated. Usually, what I really  want to do is sit and sulk about it for awhile.  Unfortunately, that isn't an option either. Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

So, what I really have to do is forgive them. Be kind to them, even though they may not deserve it. Be compassionate towards them. Everyone has struggles. If someone is hurting me, they have a reason, even if it has nothing to do with me. Happy people don't go around hurting others purposefully!

When it is hard to forgive someone, I pray. I pray for that person every time the negative feelings come into my heart. Eventually, all the negativity does turn to compassion and love for that person. Sometimes I have to repeat the process all over when they hurt me again!

The important thing is that when you honor Christ with your mouth, you must also honor Him with your actions. It is never easy and I fail many times, but I am serious about my commitment. When I fail, I try again. There will always be unjust people in this world. The truth is, I'm not responsible for their actions. I'm only responsible for my own.

Thank you, Lord for your magnificent Word that ALWAYS has an answer for all of my needs! Thank you for your Spirit that convicts me when I am out of line. Thank you for the people that test me. These people make me lean on You, and the more I lean on You, the stronger I am! I love you, Lord! Help me to always keep your Word in my heart, so that it will light my paths! Amen.

Love & Confidence

I have been a little down lately. I made a commitment to live a better life for Christ a while back. Unfortunately, I am not always good at that! I have been grumpy and impatient lately. I have been stressed and too busy and too worried. I've been snappy. Sometimes downright mean! I haven't written a blog in 2 weeks and I haven't read the Word every single day like I said I was going to. I have been feeling like God was frowning at me and my self-confidence has been quite low.

This morning, when I finally got to be alone for the first time in almost a week, I just wanted to sit and pray and read the Bible. I wanted to tell Him how sorry I am. I asked Him to lead me to the scripture that I needed at that moment.

Suddenly, "1 Corinthians" popped in my head. I have not studied this book much, but I did remember that the 13th chapter is the chapter about love. "Love is patient, love is kind..It is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs...It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." This is how God expects us to act toward one another, but another thought also occurred to me: There is another verse that says "God is love." (1 John 4:8).

God IS love. He doesn't just have love towards us. He IS love. In other words, God is patient. God is kind. He is not easily angered and He keeps no record of wrongs (if you have asked for forgiveness). God always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. AMEN!

He isn't mad at me. He isn't frowning at me. He loves me, unconditionally. I can never be good enough or bad enough to sway His feelings towards me. He loves me just like I am.

Not only that, He also has this same feeling towards the people that I find hard to love. He loves them, unconditionally and He's not mad at them. So, why should I be? Surely, if the Creator of the world loves them, then I am not too good to forgive and love them, also.

I don't know if I am like most Christians or not, but I want to be perfect and I am really hard on myself when I'm not! I feel like the world is watching, waiting to pounce on the least little imperfection. There is nothing I can do about what the world thinks of me. But, I can learn to have more confidence in myself.  I am not perfect and I never will be, but God loves me anyway! He thought I was worthy. He bought me with a price. Why should I doubt His judgement?

Thank you, Lord, for time alone with you this morning. Help me to always remember that you chose me just as I am. I don't have to be perfect to be loved by You. Give me the confidence that can only be found in You. Help me to not worry about the world's opinion of me. Yours is the only opinion that matters! Help me to cast aside my worldly worries and put all of my confidence in You. Remind me of this daily, Lord, because I need it! In Jesus's most precious name I pray, Amen.

Job

This past week I have been reading the book of Job. I have to tell you, it was not an easy book to get through! I really wanted to quit during the middle of the book, but in the end, I learned so much.

Chapter 1 begins with an introduction to Job. He was a very wealthy and righteous man. In fact, he was the richest and most godly man in the entire area. One day, Satan goes before God and God brags on Job. He says, "Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless-a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil."

Satan answers, by saying that of course Job is faithful! He has always been protected and blessed by God. Satan goes on to say that if God takes away everything Job has, then Job will surely curse God.  God gives permission for Satan to test Job, but he is not to harm him physically.

So one day, Job loses everything. His sons and daughters are killed. All of his animals are killed or stolen. Nearly all of his servants and farmhands are killed. When Job found out about this he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship God. He said, "I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!" Verse 22 goes on to say, "In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God."

The story gets alot worse from there. God is still pleased with Job because Job has not turned away from Him, so Satan asks to test Job further. He afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. His wife tells him to curse God! He tells her she is foolish and says, "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"

I don't really have the time or space to tell you everything else that happened, so I'll make it short- After all this, Job became pretty depressed. He did not understand why God was allowing all of this to happen to him. (Oh, how easy it is to trust God when everything is going well!) Three of his friends showed up and accused him of sinning. They thought that God was punishing him. Job continues to maintain his innocence, while he is cursing the day he was born and questioning why God was allowing all of this to happen. They go back and forth with this argument  for awhile.

After a few chapters of the back and forth, I was really ready to stop reading! I kept on, though, and I am so glad I did. Just when it was almost too much to take, God showed up! I suggest that everyone read chapters 38-42, because they are awesome! God comes and basically says, "I am God and I know best!" He created EVERYTHING on this earth. He thought out everything down to the last detail, so that life could function on earth. He laid the foundations of the earth. He told the oceans how far they could come. He commands the sun and the moon and the stars. He brings the snow, hail and rain. He makes the lightning appear! He provides everything for the animals he created. He says, "Everything under Heaven is Mine."

In the end, Job repents for not fully trusting God and God blesses him even more than he was blessed in the beginning.

I am so thankful that I did make through to the end of this book. Here are the lessons God revealed to me through it:

1. Sometimes bad things happen to good people! Never assume that because someone is going through a rough time that it is their fault. Sometimes it is their fault, but not always. Don't be like Job's friends.

2. If you are living righteously, Satan wants to destroy you. The closer you move towards God, the more Satan will test you. Hold firm to your faith! Trust and obey.

3. Most importantly, always remember that GOD is GOD! No matter how smart we think we are, He is still smarter. True wisdom comes only from Him! Though we may not understand His plan, we still have to trust. Though His Word, may not always be "politically correct", it is still HIS WORD. It is truth. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Holding true to His Word will not win you popularity points, trust me. We still have to accept that He knows what He is doing. And since He is the creator, He gets to be boss!

Thank you, God for being who You are! Help me to always put my faith in your Word and to not let my own earthly fears get in the way of trusting You! You created everything in this magnificent universe! Help me to remember that You are the boss! I will never be as wise as You, Lord!